So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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