So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
