I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
