were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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