Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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