It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I deserve this hangover.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
