Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize