I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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