Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
