I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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