I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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