What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
