I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize