if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
