I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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