Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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