It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
