A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
