why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
