I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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