...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
