drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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