You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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