Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
