I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
COCAINE IS GR8
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
