no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
