So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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