At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
