yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
