Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
