This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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