can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
