I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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