I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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