question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
