WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize