I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
