is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
