its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
