I want to have your abortion
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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