I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
