i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
