Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
