They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
