So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
