Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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