Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Randomize
