i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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