so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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