i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize