I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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