last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
