Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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