You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize