its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i now understand why vodka
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
