There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
