oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
