And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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