Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up under a house in Key West
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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